Kaplan Quips

Quotes from the display Room -- as recorded by Betty Kaplan, 
Edgar's Wife, at the 6th World Team Olympiad in Valkenberg, 
Netherlands, in 1980.

"I don't know what North was thinking of doing, 
but it's just as well he didn't."

"I think he'll keep doubling them until he 
finally beats one."

"The difference between a brave bid and a foolhardy 
bid is largely a matter of result."

"That's unfair. North-South were just having a good 
time and suddenly East-West turned nasty and doubled."

"Four hearts is a very good bid -- but on some other hand."

"West passed, hoping his partner would double but that was 
too much to hope for in this world. It will happen all the 
time in the next world."

"If you average South's bidding on this hand (one too many) 
and on the previous hand (one too few), he comes out just right."

"When in doubt, put the opponents on lead. Why should 
you make the mistake?"

"It is always a good idea to make only six when you've 
missed a grand slam. The opponents don't know how good 
a result they have."

"Well, it was only sporting for declarer to give East 
his trick back."

"He may bid and he may not. I believe that covers all
possibilities."

"If you're a good enough player, you can get away with 
making mistakes because nobody will believe it."

"That's the story of my life -- all my life, I've been 
setting up non-working endplays."

"Declarer could try a non-working squeeze."

"After all, East-West have a clear majority of the point 
count (21)."

"The defenders made 2NT so it was an accurate contract -- 
just played the wrong way."

"I understand some super-modernists are back to leading 
queen from queen-jack. They call it 'reverse Rusinow.'"

"He's preserving his options to misguess the diamonds."

"In order to let the contract make, the defenders must 
lead a spade.  No other line of play succeeds."

"South's bid implied: I have four spades, four hearts, 
six clubs and the rest are diamonds."

"They avoided the trap of bidding a slam on the second 
hand to compensate for the one they missed on the first."

"South had five hearts and five clubs, but they were 
not playing five-card majors so he opened 1C."

"I don't understand how declarer made only five spades. 
I understand why he wanted to make only five spades: It 
wouldn't be so obvious then that he had missed a slam."

"To teach the opponents not to preempt against you, 
you must not only double them, you must also beat them."

"Some people bid 3NT over their partner's three-level 
suit bids on the theory that it's more dignified to go 
down in game."

"In his 3NT contract, declarer has seven tricks. One 
more from heaven makes eight and where there's eight, 
there's nine."

"I don't think anyone in this tournament can bid 
diamonds to show diamonds.  We lost the club suit 
in the 1950s. Now diamonds are gone and hearts 
are sinking fast."

"Everything gets doubled in the Closed Room except 
when it goes down."

"If you want to bid naturally and still sound modern, 
just say your bid shows the suit below the suit above 
the one you bid."

"Now his 3D bid shows a singleton diamond. When he 
rebids diamonds, it will confirm a singleton diamond."

"Now he has forced North to lead away from his DK but 
unfortunately North didn't have it. It's called the 
phantom endplay."

"In the old days, you had to grit your teeth and pass 
with the North hand.  Now you can make a negative 
double with the result that you go down instead of 
the opponents."

"East is wondering why he didn't pass 1S. So am I."
======================================================================